Advice for the young at heart

Advice for the young at heart: Seafaring the Bushveld ocean

  1. OppiKoppi is life. There is no keeping clear. Climb on. We’ll make sure you are back in love by Monday.
  2. There’s a stranger living in you. Welcome sirs. And the little girl in the back as well.
  3. Have faith in wordless knowledge. Use the force. And the forceless.
  4. Also use wet wipes.
  5. I know myself I’m pretty sure. If not: don’t be boastful or irritating. The world has enough assholes, we don’t need to have them around Northam for this weekend.
  6. Stay easy, stay loose. Good things happen to tunesters who drift. Twice.
  7. Speaking of which: take part and partake. There are many many wormholes and ways to get fun or free stuff. Watch the social media and website. Also look out for information on the declaration avenue, coming soon.
  8. Wood on sale, don’t hurt our trees. They have individual names. Really.
  9. Be ye tunefast! The night time is the right time. Tunes grease OppiKoppi gears and hopefully yours as well. Smell the dust, embrace the beer, drink the tunes, the way they were supposed to be imbibed – in the middle of the bushveld. Grab the moments.
  10. He who travels fastest arrives alone. Take your time, OppiKoppi will wait for you. Be safe on the road. True freedom awaits…in the dust.
  11. Tenderize the night, take the horn by the hills. You risk middle aged tears later in your life if you let yourself be tamed.
  12. Behold the Northamility!
  13. If you are under 18, you can unfortunately not behold anything at OppiKoppi yet. Your time will surely come.
  14. Keep Northam pretty, Keep Northam gritty. Do your bit for both. Please.
  15. Wondhoek: first aid around almost every corner. Look for the red cross signs. But first try to fix your friend yourself with what you have in the camp site. (just a joke, although it will make for good stories later). Please report incidents and issues to any of our marshalls or security. Or to anyone with a snor.
  16. The Redfrogs are also milling about in the campsite. Friendly dudes with pancakes and water. If you need a friend, or pancakes or mix.
  17. You were also new at OppiKoppi once. Be friendly to this year’s crop of kisses. Hug! Someone! New! Every day.
  18. “Boetie jy is fokken lucky” – overheard after a laaitie started a big fire himself and then doused it quickly before the marshalls arrived. No fires above knee height, our marshalls and firemen have the right to remove anyone who creates a safety concern for anyone else. Or themselves.
  19. SUPER IMPORTANT: please douse your fire when you leave. The wind creates chaos with unattended fires are the end of the fest. In general do not leave fires unattended throughout the festival. This is good for you and us.
  20. True love travels dusty roads. Many people don’t know it but OppiKoppi is built for lovers. Bring your best partner/s.
  21. Please no bikes. Our cup of mayhem runeth over already.
  22. Homme de Dust – friendly dudes travelling our dusty roads handing out beers and friendship. You can be one as well.
  23. Homme de Dustbin –friendly dudes travelling our dusty roads handing out black bags and collecting yours. You can help by just being kind and trying to keep things together (much like a country singer on a Sunday morning). And collecting your garbage in a semi-civil manner. Our cleaners won’t go into camp sites, but will collect bags all day long.
  24. Play it as it lays. Sleeping friends belong on facebook.
  25. Love your dog, leave him or her at home. OppiKoppi is very tough on dogs. And humans.
  26. If you don’t have a bracelet you have not entered. And our security have the right to remove you.
  27. Trespassers will be prostituted. A joke, we send them to the Northam slammer. (Which incidentally is not much different).
  28. Let us teach you about Bushveld humility: the radical awareness of self from a distance across the small bar. Step right in. Unfuck yourself, yourself.
  29. No Jimmy, stay VERY loose.
  30. OppiKoppi has warm open arms for rogues, vagabonds, snake oil sellers and various other kinds of semi mystical creatives with a friendly disposition. Hey we built this city on smoke and mirrors. But we have no warmth for unsavoury characters (unfortunately there are 20 000 of us, and any municipality has a few uncut diamonds.). If you are hustled or harassed please report it to the security or marshalls at any time. Also: OppiKoppi is almost 110% full on freedom, but these are still mostly normal humans around you. So lock up valuables etc just like in town.
  31. Kobus los die muggies.
  32. All thoughts are prey to some beats. Especially post midnight. See you on the other side of the mountain.
  33. Don’t fuck around, buy a round.
  34. Free flow: There are 20 000 of us, and only so many dirt roads to travel in and around the camp site. If you park in the road, the car will be towed. Simple.
  35. “Sir, if I listen to you long enough I may find my own way to the small bar.”